Viewing figures reached their peak last week and it’s no wonder when one little jaunt to the Royal Borough triumphantly combines a Willy Wonka themed “Party with a T,” hosted by Chelsea’s very own Hugh Heffner, with shocking lunchtime revelations that lead to a dramatic showdown at an opera recital…
“Did you hear that? Why sing words?”
That’s right, we were at the opera this week where Spencer undoubtedly stole quote of the series. “Have you been to the opera before?” He asks a befuddled Jamie. “I’ve been to the theatre,” he replies, adding and I quote: “Why sing words?” The poor little mite just didn’t get it. Perhaps “Opera is like Spencer” he posed to Caggie this week, “you either love it or you learn to love it?”
In case you’re wondering, the drama didn’t end on screen at the opera that night; as off screen Proudlock shocked his twitter followers tweeting, “You will be very happy to hear, I have lost my cross earring… but if anyone finds me a worthy replacement, I will give them a gift.” And so the race is on to find Proudlock a suitable replacement 80s revival piece before next week.
A certain arrival from Spain did little to restore normality in this week’s episode as Caggie’s “Crazy cousin” Alice arrived in SW3, and wait a minute, is that Proudlock’s earring Caggie is wearing?
“The dangerous Dunlop duo are back,” Proudlock jokes. As he and Alice cosy up on the sofa, we hear all about her ‘Gap-Yah’ to… Spain? Spain? I mean it’s hardly ‘Burma-ah’ is it? “I was a jet-ski instructor on a beach, it was awesome,” Alice assured Proudlock. Sure. That aside, the fiesta had only just begun for the younger Dunlop cousin who boasted, “Cag and Al are back on the town… I’m single and ready to mingle.” Ole.
“You need to meet everybody,” Cagg’s proposed to her cousin, “I think one or two of them may have an eye for you,” she smirked. “Why, because they’re in love with you and we’re quite similar?” Alice joked in an 85% of what we joke about is true kind of way. Just as we thought the show couldn’t get any more incestuous…
In this week’s episode, it was colonel Mustard AKA Hugo Taylor, who had lunch, in the Phene, with Victoria and an even quieter than usual Rosie.
Hasn’t poor Hugo suffered enough during the aftermath of his break-up with minxy make-up artist Millie? After all, he is genuinely “Sorry as I humanly could be.” You could say he’s “racked with guilt, it’s actually shocking” as Victoria concerns.
“I’ve got some information that I think is going to dramatically change everything,” Rosie disclosed as Hugo had excused himself. One would hate to detract from the painfully crazed, eye popping-ly dramatic deliverance of Rosie’s revelation, but to cut a long story short, Millie cheated on Hugo before he cheated on her. Shocker!
“What do I do?” Rosie asks as if she wasn’t planning the obvious all along. “They’re both as bad as each other,” Victoria offered, “but she’s playing the victim. You’ve gotta level the playing field here.” Now there’s some thought out advice, and how you may be wondering, did Rosie deliver the fatal blow...?
“Don’t shoot the messenger… but Millie’s cheated on you!” Well, perhaps it didn’t quite go like that, but you get the idea. “Oh my God I’d hate to be her right now,” was Spencer’s reaction, always one to say what others are thinking.
Oblivious to these allegations, Millie pops round to Caggie’s house for a pleasant catch up with the Dunlop duo, only to find that Caggie has a revelation of her own.
“I think I might have my eye on someone,” she confessed. “Let me guess,” Millie teased, “Spencer’s finally worn you down?” Oh please God let it be Spencer, who told me in a recent interview, that should he possess any magical power, it would be “the ability to get into Caggie’s mind.” Bless.
It seems Caggie is keeping quiet for now, and judging by the delicate gold cross in her ear, she’s dreaming of someone a little more retro.
Meanwhile, a million miles from the madness, or not, candy obsessed Jamie proposes his teaser event to fellow musketeers Proudlock and Spencer, where he promises alcoholic milkshakes, candy kittens (of course) and a Willy Wonka/Hugh Heffner theme. Purrfect. Apparently the Mcvities heir is feeling the pressure from his old man this week, to, well, do some actual work I guess?
Elsewhere, Caggie is in demand; I mean the poor girl can’t even take a shower without one of her many admirers calling. “Are you going to the opera recital?” and oh, by the way, “do you know where Millie is?” Spencer bombarded her.
It’s hardly mission impossible, but on the other hand, it’s rather nice to see the boys get behind their man Hugo in this um’ difficult time. “You’re on this, good luck bro” came Jamie’s pep talk, “keep us posted,” were his final words. Oh my, if only Millie knew what was coming? The poor girl was in the zone, working on a shoot at the Coconut Studios when Cornel Mustard snuck up behind her.
“I’m sorry you had to find out like that,” was all the little minx could muster. “Are you kidding me?” Hugo shook his head, as tweets flew in from around the UK in support of the newly esteemed bachelor. Apparently it was entirely his fault, he as good as pushed her into the arms of Frenchman. Sure.
Leave it to Ollie to brighten up a dull day, swinging through the air in little pink shorts and a vest. As far from the drama of this week’s episode, he appeared still in shock after his recent split with Chloe. If horse riding and cupping didn’t work, then surely anti-gravity yoga could do the trick? “My five-minute zen relaxation just got ruined by Gabriella.” Ah, maybe not.
As the episode drew to a dramatic close, we are left open mouthed as Hugo and Millie swallow their animosity, kiss and make up.
NEXT TIME: “I LOVE YOU” – Spencer finally comes clean to Caggie but is it too late? Millie makes some accusations of her own, but will they backfire? Find out on next week’s Made in Chelsea.
Rachael Grace is reviewing Made in Chelsea which is on Mondays, E4 at 10pm.
Follow